Techniques of lip and longing for your returning warrior
The kiss, a user’s guide. Part 2 interview Cherie Byrd, MA
Byrd hates “the peck” — when lovers quickly snap a kiss on the cheek and leave.
“A peck is saying, ‘I don’t have time to kiss you.’ It’s also annoying. You’re breaking contact each time — peck, peck, peck. It’s like poking somebody. It’s never satisfying,” she says.
“When you kiss somebody, you want something that lingers, that makes you go ‘umm, umm, umm.’ It flavors your morning,” Byrd says.
Goodbye kisses, frequent in military marriages, are sometimes the most important kiss you can give.
“The truth is, you don’t know if you’ll ever see that person again. It’s dangerous sending them out to war, and it’s dangerous just going out into the world every day,” Byrd says. “The goodbye kiss is the, ‘if I never see you again, I leave you with this gift of connection, this gift of my love for you.’ ”
And the hello kiss? Well, that can set the tone of the entire evening.
“If he comes in the door, and you look him right in the eyes, take that face and bring it to you like you’re drinking out of a goblet of joy — that’s a way to turn an evening into something,” she says. “Even if you never kiss again the whole evening, you’ll both be humming with this sense of connection that keeps the flow going.”
The kiss should never simply be a mashing of the lips or a full-on tonsil examination. Instead, Byrd says, you can be endlessly creative while keeping the rest of your body alive.
“Frequently, people stop breathing. It also happens when they hug,” Byrd says. “Then there’s no energy moving, no connecting going on. You want to climb into their skin and have them climb into yours and climb into the embrace of your lips,” Byrd says. “This is about connecting, saying, ‘oh, you’re so tasty, let me devour you and appreciate the yummyness that you are.’ ”
Moving the rest of your body with the kiss, stroking their back, running your fingers through their hair and touching their face, also helps make good kisses great.
“If the whole body is kissing, that makes the best kisses,” she says.
Byrd hates “the peck” — when lovers quickly snap a kiss on the cheek and leave.
“A peck is saying, ‘I don’t have time to kiss you.’ It’s also annoying. You’re breaking contact each time — peck, peck, peck. It’s like poking somebody. It’s never satisfying,” she says.
“When you kiss somebody, you want something that lingers, that makes you go ‘umm, umm, umm.’ It flavors your morning,” Byrd says.
Goodbye kisses, frequent in military marriages, are sometimes the most important kiss you can give.
“The truth is, you don’t know if you’ll ever see that person again. It’s dangerous sending them out to war, and it’s dangerous just going out into the world every day,” Byrd says. “The goodbye kiss is the, ‘if I never see you again, I leave you with this gift of connection, this gift of my love for you.’ ”
And the hello kiss? Well, that can set the tone of the entire evening.
“If he comes in the door, and you look him right in the eyes, take that face and bring it to you like you’re drinking out of a goblet of joy — that’s a way to turn an evening into something,” she says. “Even if you never kiss again the whole evening, you’ll both be humming with this sense of connection that keeps the flow going.”
The kiss should never simply be a mashing of the lips or a full-on tonsil examination. Instead, Byrd says, you can be endlessly creative while keeping the rest of your body alive.
“Frequently, people stop breathing. It also happens when they hug,” Byrd says. “Then there’s no energy moving, no connecting going on. You want to climb into their skin and have them climb into yours and climb into the embrace of your lips,” Byrd says. “This is about connecting, saying, ‘oh, you’re so tasty, let me devour you and appreciate the yummyness that you are.’ ”
Moving the rest of your body with the kiss, stroking their back, running your fingers through their hair and touching their face, also helps make good kisses great.
“If the whole body is kissing, that makes the best kisses,” she says.
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