How's your Inner Lover doin'?
While working on my new Kissing School website I ran into some
articles I've written...still true as ever. This is about cultivating our
embodied inner lover...mmm
Cultivating an Embodied Inner Lover by Cherie Byrd, MA
(originally published by Women Net Work, women’s publication for growth and
wellness, Feb 2001 lightly updated 9/16/15)
It makes me grin when I think about it, for it seems I have
created a very privileged role for myself. I’m in practice as a holistic energy
therapist and I teach "Kissing School!” I’m blessed with a lot of deeply
intimate conversations with friends, clients, and perfect strangers about their
sex lives, their longing for love, passion, what turns them on and off. I hear
about the struggles between sex and our beliefs regarding its value, its
relationship to spirit, to body images, and the power issues between partners.
I'm told frequently that people feel cheated, that real sex
doesn’t live up to the promises, the fantasy. It’s clear that sexual and
sensual shutdown seems to be rampant in these stressed-out times. I hear tales
of hormones, non-responsive partners, depleted energy and general disconnect
from the experiences of the body. Our inner lovers seem to have been stuffed
into a dark closet along with too many other good ideas gone wrong.
Interestingly enough in this time of massive information,
coaching, and personal trainers I find almost no one holding the idea that we
can educate these abandoned and clueless inner lovers to be deep, intimate, and
potent and fulfilled. There is almost no awareness that sexual energy can
regenerate and heal us, offering a luscious counterpoint to the wear and
intensity of our lives. As a culture we’ve pretty much split ourselves off from
the impulses and energies of the body in order to function above the neck in an
extremely mental world. For this we pay a very high price.
The body is designed to be an amplifier of our inner
experience, enriching us with the felt qualities of our life and when we choose
not to engage this amplifier in our moment-to-moment consciousness we lose
touch with our soul and we become numb, disconnected, out of touch with
ourselves and what we are experiencing in any given moment. This disconnect has
a large impact upon the health and vibrancy of our bodies and our emotions
because it literally unplugs us from the bioelectrical circuitry of our subtle
energy bodies.
These circuits carry the mental, emotional, psychic and
spiritual energetic communication impulses to the etheric energy meridians of
the physical body where they are chemically translated into physical
experience. When we disconnect from our body we generate a deeply diminished
exchange of bioelectricity or consciousness for the conversations of the
body/mind/heart/soul. The body becomes clueless and we experience a sensual
disconnect. We no longer sense our emotions as they are happening, our
experience of our physical body is blocked, we lack inspiration, and we feel
cut off. We are no longer functioning as a whole system.
Let's face it, it’s next to impossible to leap into an
experience of full body orgasm when we are not being fully embodied organisms,
no matter who is doing what to us. What to do? What’s necessary to generate a
functioning energy system so that we can directly tap into our own juice, heat,
electricity and healing? Education and practice mostly, along with a lot of internal
permission.
There have been
schools for the loving arts all through recorded history in which people were
trained to experience giving and receiving love. They were many and various in
their intentions, ones for healing the war out of returning soldiers, or for
achieving heightened states of spiritual union, or for enhancing the realms of
communion in one’s daily life. They’ve left us a legacy and we can learn from
them.
It makes sense that energy mastery is at the core of most of
these teachings. Developing resonant states of awareness within the bodily
tissues, learning to move energy and empower the flow of communication between
our body, emotions, mind and soul are essential practices for an empowered
life. These practices naturally generate a responsive and potent inner lover;
for when we are present in the body sensual awareness can be deepened into a
fine art. Subtle nuances become very large events. The dance of energy between
self and other moves us. It becomes possible not only to experience a full body
orgasm, but also to be a body/mind/heart/spirit that is fully orgasmic.
From this fully embodied state one can experience orgasm
from a kiss, from a tongue sliding between fingers, from a drop of water
running down the spine, from any point of connection with a partner or oneself,
the world, or from the mere idea of it. Well-educated inner lovers have the
ability to open us deeply to healing, transformation and the rich presence of
our inherently bright spirits. Learning begins with where we are now, graduate
school is optional.
Cherie Byrd is an internationally recognized holistic
energy therapist, author, healer, speaker and educator specializing in
body/heart/mind/spirit integration, spiritual emergence, and sacred sexuality.
She has been in private practice in Seattle, WA area since 1978 and is a
pioneer in the field of Energy Psychology. Cherie is the creator and
facilitator of trainings on sacred sexuality and the embodiment of high
frequency states of consciousness, including her internationally recognized
Kissing School. She is the author of Kissing School, 7 Lessons on Love, Lips,
and Life Force, and has been profiled in print, screen, audio and internet
media around the world. Cherie can be reached at www.KissingSchool.com, or 206.324.2526.
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